I am standing in front of Eilert's lodgings. I see the brown brickwork running along the walls. I go to touch it and it's rough. My stomach is turrning at the thought of Eilert not being home, so I inspect the outside of his lodgings further.
There are white crosses on the window, from top to bottom. They are so detailed, they make the window look beautiful. Looking at this beauty calms me down slightly, it begins to ease my worries.
The front garden is a patch of green, well-looked-after grass. It is evenly cut, with two rows of flowers running down the two opposite sides. I hear two ladies talking about Eilert so I interject, "Have you seen Eilert today?" They exchange a look; a look that you give someone before you give them bad news. My heart pounds.
"He didn't come home last night" I hear them say, but as I walk away, I hear a mention of a hospital. My head is spinning and my palms are sweating. I race for Hedda's home to seek help and advice.
Hedda opens the door and I stand, panting. Judge Brack is there and he tells me that he has shot himself. I am beside myself. I don't know what I am going to do with my life now. Although everyone is speaking, I can't hear a word they are saying. All I can think about is that my precious Eilert is dead. First my child is dead and now Eilert.I start for the door and I run to the hospital. My heart racing, my chest tight, my nerves everywhere. I ask for Eilert and they simply tell me, "He is dead".
I scream. I shout. I cry.
My two loves. Gone.
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